Day 29

Day 29: Tuesday, May 24
What a weepy day! I cried at the drop of a hat all day. This morning after bringing Jen to Bangor I watched last week's Glee while eating breakfast. It was an episode about a funeral but it was the song "Pure Imagination" that killed me. It was almost like a lullaby I'd never sing to my child I'm never going to have. Then at school I saw R,K. She asked how I was feeling so I shared that we took a test. I was fighting back tears. She didn't have anything to say. I felt so down all day and the kids didn't help my mood! I'm so worried about this concert! Then I had the fuck-its so I decided to clean my office. I went to lunch where J.B. and I had a chat about my test. She said it is best to take it in the morning and wait a few more days. I'm waiting until Friday! Again, fighting back tears. I went back to my room and played "Calling All Angels", post it to facebook and she a few tears. That got me through my day. Took several trips to the bathroom today too...cramps, bloating, PMS-like symptoms but all that was there was mucous...good sign? When I got home, I laid on the bed and talked to the baby that didn't bless us this month. Had a good cry and went about my business. As I was doing housework I was watching Oprah. There was Kristen Chenoweth performing "For Good"...Oprah cried, I cried. I went to pick up Jen, I forgot to reply to her text and left my phone at home so her first words were "Can't reply to my text?"...I wanted to burst into tears. About halfway home she asked why I was being grumpy....cue the tears! I pulled into KFC and ordered us supper...Jen rubbed my back...I needed her touch. I fought back tears through supper but we kept the conversation light. We watched Idol cuddled on the couch. Tomorrow is a new day...one more day for my body to figure out what the hell it wants to do. Goodness my boobs hurt!