Saturday, July 23, 2011: We slept in the living room last night which meant little sleep. I woke up wanting to take a test so bad. When Jen woke I told her...she wasn't for it because she didn't want me to be depressed all weekend. I got my way and got a big fat negative. I held it together and went on with the day. We went to Pickle's 1st birthday party. Other than the sweltering heat, we had a great time catching up with The H Family and of course seeing Pickle. I almost fell apart during the slide show seeing pictures of S pregnant and newborn pictures of Pickle...that was tough. We came home and took a power nap before heading to the waterfront. We had a great dinner with A & K including a drink (Jen said maybe it would help relax that little ovum and him to attach...gosh I hope so). We headed to the waterfront (aka Dykefest...even Jen felt girlie) and waited for concert time. It was hot...that sun was blazing. We had excellent seats, I almost cried when Melissa took the stage. There was an awesome breeze and a beautiful sunset. What a great show!!! After the concert, I was ready to go home...I'd had enough of the heat and humidity but Jen wanted to go out for drinks. So we went back to the Seadog where she and K played pool and I text back and forth with friends at My Fork. Before I knew it we were talked into joining them. Jen told them I was grumpy...R said she knew how I felt and it sucked not being able to drink. It did suck...that I got a BFN on my test this morning...it was really starting to sink in that once again, it didn't work. After a little time at My Fork, we all went to Dysarts and got home around 3:00!
Sunday, July 24, 2011: I woke at 10am with a super horrible headache. I e-mailed M to let her know we wouldn't be out to her camp, Jen was asleep on the couch. I went back to bed and slept until Jen came and woke me at 3:00 to see if I was ok...just tired. I came downstairs, had some iced coffee and caught up with Jen. At 4:00 we broke into housework, Jen got groceries and made an awesome supper. I jumped in the shower then we watched a movie. After the movie I went to the bathroom...blood. My heart dropped. I didn't tell Jen...maybe it's just implantation bleeding. I literally prayed my period away when I went to bed...please give us one more Monday that is happy...we had a surge two weeks ago, got the news about the house last Monday, let's have a BFP this Monday PLEASE!!!!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Friday, July 22, 2011
Days 24-28
Monday, July 18-Friday, July 22, 2011:
Well, any cramping I had is gone, no symptoms other than getting up to pee in the night consistently and still having to pee badly first thing in the morning. Still, it's been a busy week so there are times I actually stop in my tracks and say "wait, I could be pregnant". We finally got a house for rent, the one we looked at on my birthday...we were so excited when we got the call. Life is grand! We've been crazy busy packing, sorting stuff for the yard sale today (which is going to be in a 100 degree heat index...blah), and Logan's been here for the week so he's been a big help. He makes me think about my parenting and that the number one thing I want to instill in my child other than respect is self-confindence...it saddens me to see a kid so ashamed that he can't pour milk because he'll spill it.
Back to me...I am trying to stay positive but I know all-to-well that we could have another BFN but no amount of preparation can get us through that. I'm just scared of the future, financially we can't do another round for a while. It sucks but trying to stay positive...we'll see on Monday. Jen told her sister we tried again, so I felt stupid when I didn't answer her text honestly about how I was feeling...Jen didn't tell me because she thought I'd be mad. So how many people know now? Even I kept my mouth shut this time!
Well, any cramping I had is gone, no symptoms other than getting up to pee in the night consistently and still having to pee badly first thing in the morning. Still, it's been a busy week so there are times I actually stop in my tracks and say "wait, I could be pregnant". We finally got a house for rent, the one we looked at on my birthday...we were so excited when we got the call. Life is grand! We've been crazy busy packing, sorting stuff for the yard sale today (which is going to be in a 100 degree heat index...blah), and Logan's been here for the week so he's been a big help. He makes me think about my parenting and that the number one thing I want to instill in my child other than respect is self-confindence...it saddens me to see a kid so ashamed that he can't pour milk because he'll spill it.
Back to me...I am trying to stay positive but I know all-to-well that we could have another BFN but no amount of preparation can get us through that. I'm just scared of the future, financially we can't do another round for a while. It sucks but trying to stay positive...we'll see on Monday. Jen told her sister we tried again, so I felt stupid when I didn't answer her text honestly about how I was feeling...Jen didn't tell me because she thought I'd be mad. So how many people know now? Even I kept my mouth shut this time!
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Day 22 & 23
Day 22: Saturday, July 16, 2011: Happy 35th Birthday to me!!!!
A milestone in my life because Mom never made it to this age. I loved all the facebook wishes and I had a great day. Jen made me a breakfast pizza and we sorted Magic cards (yawn...but I do like to organize). At 10am we went and looked at the house up the street...a little older but we can definately make it work...loved the outside. We came right home and filled out the application. Curtis will call us Monday! Then we made a scoreboard for our new Baggo game. I wasn't thrilled about being out the in sun but I knew it wouldn't be long. Jen started prepping food so I headed to Subway for lunch. Jen's sandwich SUCKED...it was so dry! I wrote and complained! We made kabobs and chilled for a bit but R said come over whenever, they were ready. We grabbed ice and beer from the store then off to the R & S's. We weren't there long before Jenny showed up and in the pool we went. It was SO nice. Benny joined us without Justin and the party began. We played Baggo, ate kabobs and salad, played more Bagoo, went swimming again, had a fire, made smores, shared a lot of laughs and enjoyed good times with friends. I feel blessed and fortunate to have such wonderful friends. My one wish for this birthday...is next year we increase the party by one guest! ;-)
Day 23, Sunday, July 17, 2011
Another hazy, hot & humid day...I've had about enough...bring on fall weather! However, after sorting more Magic cards this morning and going to Benny's so Jen could open their booster box, we went to the K's for a dip in the pool...even though they weren't home. Jen was trying to have me toss her but I didn't have the strength in my lower abs to do so. Even after some time in the pool I have a dull ache down there. I'm trying not to read into it but I can't help it...it feels different than last time! I mentioned something to Jenny and she got all negative Nancy on my "You had that last time...it's too soon...I never felt anything until 4 months in". If the is a big "pos" (as K called it) you better believe I'm going to rub it in her face!!! I just need that positive reinforcement right now...the negativity does not help keep my faith! Jen & I haven't talked about my aches at all...except in the pool...but she knows my stomach is tender. 1 week to go until testing. We find out tomorrow if we got the house. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts!
A milestone in my life because Mom never made it to this age. I loved all the facebook wishes and I had a great day. Jen made me a breakfast pizza and we sorted Magic cards (yawn...but I do like to organize). At 10am we went and looked at the house up the street...a little older but we can definately make it work...loved the outside. We came right home and filled out the application. Curtis will call us Monday! Then we made a scoreboard for our new Baggo game. I wasn't thrilled about being out the in sun but I knew it wouldn't be long. Jen started prepping food so I headed to Subway for lunch. Jen's sandwich SUCKED...it was so dry! I wrote and complained! We made kabobs and chilled for a bit but R said come over whenever, they were ready. We grabbed ice and beer from the store then off to the R & S's. We weren't there long before Jenny showed up and in the pool we went. It was SO nice. Benny joined us without Justin and the party began. We played Baggo, ate kabobs and salad, played more Bagoo, went swimming again, had a fire, made smores, shared a lot of laughs and enjoyed good times with friends. I feel blessed and fortunate to have such wonderful friends. My one wish for this birthday...is next year we increase the party by one guest! ;-)
Day 23, Sunday, July 17, 2011
Another hazy, hot & humid day...I've had about enough...bring on fall weather! However, after sorting more Magic cards this morning and going to Benny's so Jen could open their booster box, we went to the K's for a dip in the pool...even though they weren't home. Jen was trying to have me toss her but I didn't have the strength in my lower abs to do so. Even after some time in the pool I have a dull ache down there. I'm trying not to read into it but I can't help it...it feels different than last time! I mentioned something to Jenny and she got all negative Nancy on my "You had that last time...it's too soon...I never felt anything until 4 months in". If the is a big "pos" (as K called it) you better believe I'm going to rub it in her face!!! I just need that positive reinforcement right now...the negativity does not help keep my faith! Jen & I haven't talked about my aches at all...except in the pool...but she knows my stomach is tender. 1 week to go until testing. We find out tomorrow if we got the house. Happy thoughts, happy thoughts, happy thoughts!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Day 21
Friday, July 15, 2011: Symptoms of the day, very light cramps, hot flashes, dizzy feeling, consuming large amounts of water but not peeing.
On the house front, we went and looked at a nice townhouse...definately have to get rid of stuff but it had a condo feel, no yard either...that was a bummer. The owner was super nice and has another place for rent on French Island...we have an appointment to see that tomorrow.
We spent most of the day running around Bangor and Brewer then finally got to hang out with R & K for the remainder of the day. Renee even made us supper...so cool! She offered their place/pool for my party tomorrow night. I love my friends!
35 tomorrow....an age my mom didn't reach...I hope 35 is only the beginning of my adulthood!
On the house front, we went and looked at a nice townhouse...definately have to get rid of stuff but it had a condo feel, no yard either...that was a bummer. The owner was super nice and has another place for rent on French Island...we have an appointment to see that tomorrow.
We spent most of the day running around Bangor and Brewer then finally got to hang out with R & K for the remainder of the day. Renee even made us supper...so cool! She offered their place/pool for my party tomorrow night. I love my friends!
35 tomorrow....an age my mom didn't reach...I hope 35 is only the beginning of my adulthood!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Days 4-20
So, I was a lot better at blogging when I was too busy to do so! Weird how that happens, but, here's what I've been up to!
In a nutshell stressful, but a different kind of stress for me than work. For Jen it's been work related. For both of us it's been finding a place to live, having a kid in the house for a week at a time, and then getting back to us.
However, the focus of this blog is a baby so that's what I'll write about more than all the other stuff.
Day 4: Tuesday, June 28, 2011: Finally heard back from the Dr. about the clomid. There will be no increase. If we have to go a 3rd try, she may increase it but not now because I responded well to it before. The ultrasound this time was optional but I went for it anyway. What a fool too because it wasn't a pleasant experience!
Day 12: Wednesday, July 6, 2011: Jen & I have Lillie for the week so guess who got to go to the ultrasound. She was good, asked a few questions and played with my ipod. When I heard back from the Dr. later in the morning I was told that the ultrasound looked good. I told Lillie I had several eggs....told her 4 because she wanted a number.
Day 17: Monday, July 11, 2011: Finally got a positive ovulation test...today is IUI day! The worst wait was for the doctor's office to open at 9, then the 45 minutes it took for Chris to get back to us. She said they were super busy today but 11:15 so glad we get "fit" in for an IUI. We arrived a little early and didn't really wait all that long. Back to Room 4 again and we felt like old pros. Chris gave us a scare when she poked her head in and asked if we were suppose to have 2 vials. I asked if there were two...she said yes, just checking. PHEW! Dr. B came in without Chris who was apparently MIA with the sperm. Dr. B got me into position and warmed up the speculum while waiting for Chris, of whom she ended up having to page. Chris came in and the process began. Dr. B talked and said to Chris they may have to do the trick. I had no clue what the trick was. Apparently the trick is taking a deep breath and baring down. Didn't have to do that nor did she have to use the tenaculum...thank goodness. When Dr. B was filling the tube she asked Chris if she got it all...I joked about geting the last 2 million...Dr. B said give or take a million. I felt nothing of the initial IUI this time...yay! We got ready for the 20 minute wait, Dr. B took a sample to the lab and Chris got cleaned up while talking about tomorrow...Dr. B is not here, we have to have Dr. G or Dr. R. I was bummed! Dr. B poked her head back in to say that the sample was really good, very active. YAY! Dr. B insisted I be scheduled with Dr. R since my cervix was difficult to find. Glad I have such a proactice doctor. After returning home, Jen did some work on reviews and I laid on the couch feeling a little crampy. Later we met up with R & K at CGP which turned into a pit fire back at R's. We let them in on our little secret...K was hugging us and saying she was so happy for us.
Day 18: Tuesday, July 12, 2011: Back to Dr.'s at 10am. We got registered right away because the reception remembered us. We waited a little longer but before we knew it Dr. R's nurse Erika was bringing us in...you guessed it, Room 4. She asked a few questions and we only waited a few minutes for Dr. R. I looked over on the tray and there was the tenaculum...I freaked, Jen said they probably just had it ready just-in-case. Soon Dr. R arrived and was accompanied by Dr. G. She asked if I minded if I observed. I couldn't say "no". I assumed the position, Dr. R had a very thick accent and asked if I was taking folic acid. She talked through everything she did. I felt every moment of the IUI and she pulled the speculum out so slow and talked about the mucus...gross. We sat for 20 minutes, Jen got to time us, then met up with Jenny who helped me do housework then took me out to lunch. Tonight I was very crampy...what's up with that???
Day 19: Wednesday, July 13, 2011: Spent the day watching Pickle and wow was it hard to keep my mind off the cramping. I took him for a walk but that was a struggle, sitting on the floor hurt, sitting in a chair hurt. As soon as I got home I went to bed. Jen & I had to go out for a few groceries and that was a challenge. I didn't even feel like eating. I went home, laid on the couch and cracked open a ginger ale. I though Jen laying on me would make me feel better but it only made it worse, especially when she was playing with the cat and threw her head back...that killed! Jen asked if I took the last ovulation test. I said no because if there were still two lines I'd freak out. I took it anyway...only 1 line...phew. Maybe we timed this one just right! I took advil which kicked in around 8pm and I was ready for bed an hour later. What's up with these cramps!
Day 20: Thursday, July 14, 2011: Spent another day with Pickle. I slept so much better last night than I have since the insemination. Cramps were far less today than the past two days, thank goodness. We looked at another apartment house tonight...my head touched the ceiling and the landlords were parents from Milford. Jen and I got in a horrible fight tonight because I'm freaking out having to make calls, e-mail, etc. I just want some help but she gets all defensive. Finally things calmed down and it was back to the searching.
In a nutshell stressful, but a different kind of stress for me than work. For Jen it's been work related. For both of us it's been finding a place to live, having a kid in the house for a week at a time, and then getting back to us.
However, the focus of this blog is a baby so that's what I'll write about more than all the other stuff.
Day 4: Tuesday, June 28, 2011: Finally heard back from the Dr. about the clomid. There will be no increase. If we have to go a 3rd try, she may increase it but not now because I responded well to it before. The ultrasound this time was optional but I went for it anyway. What a fool too because it wasn't a pleasant experience!
Day 12: Wednesday, July 6, 2011: Jen & I have Lillie for the week so guess who got to go to the ultrasound. She was good, asked a few questions and played with my ipod. When I heard back from the Dr. later in the morning I was told that the ultrasound looked good. I told Lillie I had several eggs....told her 4 because she wanted a number.
Day 17: Monday, July 11, 2011: Finally got a positive ovulation test...today is IUI day! The worst wait was for the doctor's office to open at 9, then the 45 minutes it took for Chris to get back to us. She said they were super busy today but 11:15 so glad we get "fit" in for an IUI. We arrived a little early and didn't really wait all that long. Back to Room 4 again and we felt like old pros. Chris gave us a scare when she poked her head in and asked if we were suppose to have 2 vials. I asked if there were two...she said yes, just checking. PHEW! Dr. B came in without Chris who was apparently MIA with the sperm. Dr. B got me into position and warmed up the speculum while waiting for Chris, of whom she ended up having to page. Chris came in and the process began. Dr. B talked and said to Chris they may have to do the trick. I had no clue what the trick was. Apparently the trick is taking a deep breath and baring down. Didn't have to do that nor did she have to use the tenaculum...thank goodness. When Dr. B was filling the tube she asked Chris if she got it all...I joked about geting the last 2 million...Dr. B said give or take a million. I felt nothing of the initial IUI this time...yay! We got ready for the 20 minute wait, Dr. B took a sample to the lab and Chris got cleaned up while talking about tomorrow...Dr. B is not here, we have to have Dr. G or Dr. R. I was bummed! Dr. B poked her head back in to say that the sample was really good, very active. YAY! Dr. B insisted I be scheduled with Dr. R since my cervix was difficult to find. Glad I have such a proactice doctor. After returning home, Jen did some work on reviews and I laid on the couch feeling a little crampy. Later we met up with R & K at CGP which turned into a pit fire back at R's. We let them in on our little secret...K was hugging us and saying she was so happy for us.
Day 18: Tuesday, July 12, 2011: Back to Dr.'s at 10am. We got registered right away because the reception remembered us. We waited a little longer but before we knew it Dr. R's nurse Erika was bringing us in...you guessed it, Room 4. She asked a few questions and we only waited a few minutes for Dr. R. I looked over on the tray and there was the tenaculum...I freaked, Jen said they probably just had it ready just-in-case. Soon Dr. R arrived and was accompanied by Dr. G. She asked if I minded if I observed. I couldn't say "no". I assumed the position, Dr. R had a very thick accent and asked if I was taking folic acid. She talked through everything she did. I felt every moment of the IUI and she pulled the speculum out so slow and talked about the mucus...gross. We sat for 20 minutes, Jen got to time us, then met up with Jenny who helped me do housework then took me out to lunch. Tonight I was very crampy...what's up with that???
Day 19: Wednesday, July 13, 2011: Spent the day watching Pickle and wow was it hard to keep my mind off the cramping. I took him for a walk but that was a struggle, sitting on the floor hurt, sitting in a chair hurt. As soon as I got home I went to bed. Jen & I had to go out for a few groceries and that was a challenge. I didn't even feel like eating. I went home, laid on the couch and cracked open a ginger ale. I though Jen laying on me would make me feel better but it only made it worse, especially when she was playing with the cat and threw her head back...that killed! Jen asked if I took the last ovulation test. I said no because if there were still two lines I'd freak out. I took it anyway...only 1 line...phew. Maybe we timed this one just right! I took advil which kicked in around 8pm and I was ready for bed an hour later. What's up with these cramps!
Day 20: Thursday, July 14, 2011: Spent another day with Pickle. I slept so much better last night than I have since the insemination. Cramps were far less today than the past two days, thank goodness. We looked at another apartment house tonight...my head touched the ceiling and the landlords were parents from Milford. Jen and I got in a horrible fight tonight because I'm freaking out having to make calls, e-mail, etc. I just want some help but she gets all defensive. Finally things calmed down and it was back to the searching.
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