All it took was one move and I'm a gonner...
After a tense drive down the interstate, I suggested swinging into Walmart for new wipers (and because I really had to use the bathroom). We stopped in Newport. I bolted to my destination and said I'd meet Jen in the wipers. After walking to both ends of the store twice, I finally found Jen. She had Apples-to-Apples in the cart. I asked her how much, she said $24, I asked her why we needed it. She threw it on the shelf and walked away. By the time we got to the other end of the store, I was tearing up. A fight was brewing. By the time we got in the car, it was full blown. I finally got some things off my chest including that I no longer think she cares. To my surprise, she said we need to better plan this so I will be out of work for the least amount of time. I told her I needed a plan. Soon it went silent. I cried silent tears until Skowhegan. I had to be strong all weekend because we were spending it with the family...a family that included a 2 month old. Having to watch Jen hold Mason was so hard, seeing the bond between Mom & Baby was even more difficult. I tried living in the moment with Mason but ached on the inside.
Other than now knowing how she feels, I'm even more frustrated now than I was before. I'm so scared this is never going to happen. Jen said we still need to live, I can't let it consume my even moment. I told her the truth...I bottle it all up!
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